DUBAI – Fatima felt her eyes water as she tried to take a step back, but her knees betrayed her, and she fell straight onto the floor. She could not believe that her great-grandmother, who she has loved the most, had passed away. She tried her best to heal for months, but all her efforts went down the drain when her grandmother’s life also came to an end.
Fatima could never forget the heartwarming chats she always had with both of her grandmothers. The elderly women were a mother and a daughter who both died 8 months apart.
Her great-grandmother had been by her side since Fatima was born, and she rarely went a day without seeing her. Whenever Fatima would feel troubled, she would go to her great-grandmother first without any hesitation and she would pour her heart out while the older relative pats her head lovingly and carefully listens to every word she would say.
Fatima was as close to her grandmother who lived next door, and a simple door never stopped Fatima from going over to her house and spending the whole day with her.
“My grandmother would listen to me carefully with love and a big smile every time,” Fatima said. “We always had this special bond, and we will always have it.”
It was the first time Fatima had ever experienced grief. When her great-grandmother passed away, she could not process any of it and had taken months to realize that she is not going to wake up and see her smile again.
“I was telling everyone that I know she is not dead and that my great-grandmother is strong,” Fatima said. “I just kept telling myself that she is not gone. It took me so long to accept it.”
She continued to deny what happened and got many pitiful looks from those around her when she refused to acknowledge her grandmothers’ deaths.
When Fatima started to comprehend what happened, she felt so much pain that it became physical. She felt her heart aching, as if someone had snatched her soul out of her body.
In the same year, her grandmother passed away as well, leaving Fatima feeling numb to the point where she could no longer cry her eyes out.
It took a long time for Fatima to heal, and she has still not fully recovered. During that time, her entire family was also mourning, leaving her to spend time by herself.
As the pain of her family members started easing, everyone tried their best to compose themselves and spend time with each other, reassuring Fatima as she knew she was not alone in this. However, as much as she was opening up to her family, Fatima barely let her friends know what is going on.
Shaikha, Fatima’s closest friend, remembers reminding Fatima daily that she is always there for her if she needs anyone to talk to, but knowing Fatima, Shaikha was very patient since she knew it would take a while until Fatima feels comfortable enough to meet with her.
“Fatima didn’t want to make it obvious to others that she was hurting,” Shaikha said. “She used to refuse to meet up and would hardly talk. I talked to her every day just to make sure she is doing fine.”
The shock of losing both of her relatives in a short period of time left Fatima feeling as if there is a gap inside her heart that she can never fill.
When she started recovering from the events, she realized she is not the same person she was previously. Fatima had become more conscious of her connections with people, especially her family and her friends.
“I realized that my family members and friends are everything I truly have,” Fatima said. “Nothing else matters in this world other than being with your loved ones.”
This story was produced in COM210 Media Storytelling I, lead by Dr. Kyung Sun “Karen” Lee, in Spring 2021.
