By Nada Almenhali
DUBAI — Being an artist of any sort of art can be quite frustrating at times. You draw something, and maybe at first you think it looks pretty good. Later, you aren’t so sure. Then somebody else thinks it looks swell. Then you are always stuck between who you are and what people want you to be.
Then, when you finally reach a stage of acceptance, you start to notice that you have a style that you involuntarily subscribe to — you get into an artistic rhythm. Somehow, s a certain tone suits you. That’s when you realize, you are ready to show the world, “This is who I am, and what I want all of you to see.”
This year I decided it was time for me to get really creative — to get down to work and prove myself. Six months ago, I started to play around with digital art, and I was content with my creations. I knew if I didn’t do something about it soon, I would probably never do anything later — mostly because I’m lazy. I was very uncertain about creating digital art at first. I was worried and scared.
Yet someone from social media kept encouraging me to get sponsored and get a table at the Middle East Film and Comic Con, held 7-9 April 2016 at the Dubai World Trade Centre. Reluctantly, I went for it, knowing that it would drive me mad — which it did — but I knew I had to push myself.
In four months, I went from “OK” to “good” with my digital art. Pushing myself made me practice more, and I got closer to how I wanted my style to be.
Days, weeks, and months passed. The stress of university and Comic Con got to me, and I just felt so incompetent that I just stopped. I realized that I drew not because I wanted to but because I had to. Therefore, I stopped for a really long time.
I remember complaining to everybody and whining about how I can’t draw anymore. My hand would suddenly ache when I touched a pencil to doodle. I hated Comic Con, loathed myself and despised my art. It felt like I hit an all-time low, and I wouldn’t be able to pick myself back up.
In the month leading up to Comic Con, I had to get everything together. It was time to get busy on my work. As much as I hated it, I realized something. So before I made any conclusions, I printed out all my artwork and stuck them on my wall to critique myself.
I was stunned and impressed with myself. Looking at the progress made me want to work more, and what used to take me a whole week took me a few hours.
It was finally time to go to Comic Con. Instead of butterflies, it felt like I had wasps in my stomach. I just wanted to stay home, but I knew that I couldn’t back out now. I packed all my stuff and left for Dubai. In the car the tears were stuck in my eyes. It was as if my eyes wouldn’t let them fall — just like how I wouldn’t allow myself to do that. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to represent my art anymore. Somebody will criticize it. I was 100 percent sure that my work was underwhelming.
As always I was late. It was 4 p.m., and people had been in the exhibition hall since 9 a.m. I displayed my art and I sat on my chair. I had my hand on my cheeks and a massive frown. People were passing by my booth, and no one even said anything.
My mind was spiraling. No one likes my art.
Actually, why would anyone stop at my table? It looked lame. Everyone else went all out. I just sat there thinking about how I went wrong.
That’s until a guy with a huge dinosaur came by my table and told his dinosaur friend, “Go close to her. She’s sad.”
I laughed instantly at how real the dinosaur looked and how cute it was. Then the guy left. Suddenly, people started showing up once I let go of my frown. I was astonished that I did this all by myself.
Now there were conversations with anyone that passed by. I was even asked by someone to design a tattoo.
It was crazy! The people were kind, and most of all they liked my art. Surprising myself, I sold a lot of my artwork.
Who cares about the money when you realize all this time spent in your own bubble aimlessly drawing went somewhere. It was appreciated. I couldn’t even charge some people who really appreciated my art. Their appreciation meant a whole lot more.
I realized I loved it there. Now I wished the Middle East Film and Comic Con was forever.
On that day we left, my heart was torn apart. I just wanted Comic Con to be a whole city and I wanted to live there. All of these participants were enjoying themselves, wearing cosplay costumes and just being weird. It was as if the whole world decided, “Hey, it’s time to be yourself.”
Comic Con is a world where you get to be yourself and you’ll get appreciated for it. I’m glad I attended.
This story was originally published on April 25, 2016. It was re-uploaded on Dec. 29, 2020. The photo that accompanied this story was lost due to the loss of the domain name.
